The Rhomboid Tongue-Tickler is an old-born symbiotic mythobotanical wonder of fey origins, albeit one with some frequently-unwanted side effects. Many a tale has been told of its host, weary indeed of the fruits of the Rhomboid's labor, committing a dramatic and violent suicide. However, data would suggest that in reality reported cases of Rhomboid-harborers suffer from a significantly lesser rate of suicide. It is likely the tales are a case of "sour grapes".


The Rhomboid is asexual, reproducing by means of airborne spores. Hosting of the spores is quite rare, as the Rhomboid originally hails from the rich lands of the Fey. Due to this, it is most common in nations of mankind where people from all corners of the world have mingled and duly reproduced. (For a more in-depth report on the matter of non-human "blood ratios" in modern human populations, there are numerous wonderful books on the subject.) Upon finding a much-coveted host, the spore simply drifts in during an opportune moment, much like a seed alighting in a good bit of earth, and begins the long process of transformation.

In-transformation symptoms of the Rhomboid include sour breath, sore throat, inflamed tonsils, an increased occurrence of tonsil stones, and a curious tendency to shy away from the color red, sometimes violently. The host is often quite unaware of its newly-acquired resident until the Rhomboid reaches full maturity, at which point it will have completely colonized all soft tissue within its new home.

The Rhomboid then "announces" its presence in an interesting manner: the color change of it's host's tongue to a slightly metallic gray. (It is thought that this is the true origin of the term 'silver-tongued'.) It is worth noting that during this time the Rhomboid also uses the Eustachian Tube to set up a neural relay in its host.

The Rhomboid is capable of some form of empathic telepathy, and contributes to its host by sensing the emotions of people engaged in conversation and providing the proper corresponding "tone" within the host. To be a bit clearer: the Rhomboid tells its host what to say in order to gain popularity. This directly benefits the Rhomboid in obvious ways; to send out spores, it must have some access to the outside world. In contributing to the amount of time a host spends talking or, perhaps, doing other intimate activities, it furthers its own reproductive goals.

A word to the wise, though: the Rhomboid originated, again, in Fey lands. This means that, by some means, it has accumulated social knowledge specific to fey lands, including a strict adherence to seemingly nonsensical rules and a particular manner in men that comes across, in many modern societies, as a bit "creepy", and as "predatory" in women. Careful observation of impulses indicate that most hosts are able to contain these inappropriate actions, and those who have had possession of Rhomboids for over fifty years actually seem to have shaped their guests to their own society's ideals. (This of course raises some very interesting questions in itself.)

There are some unpleasant side-effects, including a heightened likelihood of nosebleeds, ear, nose, and throat problems, difficulty in tasting sweet substances, subsequent occurrences of diabetes, potassium deficiencies, and a significantly higher rate of sexual assault. The fact of the matter is, it seems, that the Rhomboid does not entirely distinguish between persons wanted and unwanted; Rhomboid hosts who are frequently intoxicated stand a greater chance of going along with their guests' advice in inappropriate circumstances and thus receiving, and accepting, unwanted affections.

Many people find the risks well worth the effort, though. In a recent survey it was revealed that not a single host was financially insecure or "frequently lonely or isolated". In the matters of romance and the bedroom, too, hosts report a greater satisfaction with their partners and a higher amount of sexual activity than the national averages for their respective countries.